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rocketpowers:

there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone

just let that sink in

(Source: sluttyteenwolf)

make me choose |  asked me
↳ stiles stilinski or peeta mellark

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

My cousin is always watching Everybody Loves Raymond in the other room while I’m on the computer. I always hear Raymond’s voice. His deep, throaty voice, like a hungover toad. It’s very unique. Sometimes I continue to hear the thick grog of Ray Romano long after the television is off. Ray tells me things. Ray tells me horrible, horrible things. And I listen.

(Source: swagonmydick4000000000)

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

effrons:

OMG MY 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN HAS A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS OVER RIGHT NOW AND I COULD HEAR THEM LISTENING TO FERGALICIOUS AND SINGING SO I BANGED ON THE WALL AND SHOUTED “I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS” AND THEN ONE OF THEM GOES “SHIT WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SHE WAS HOME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE WAS LIKE “NO ITS A PART OF OUR VIDEO GAME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE SHOUTS “DUDE WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICIOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME” IM CRYING

ravclaw:

my essay isn’t done but i sure am

(Source: tiniestleaf)

badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

(Source: cosimaniehaus223)

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